Forklift

I’d like to entertain you all this evening with the story of one CMDR Sheehy.

A long time in the future in a star system seemingly unreachable by the rest of the universe is a little star known as Stanton (Star Citizen). For some reason in this system, the laws of physics and time are more like guidelines than rules. The looming 30k haunts all who enter. Have you ever wanted to fall through a planet? Stanton has got you covered.

Sheehy, Desperado, and Felix decided that a salvage mission would be a fun multiplayer activity and potentially lucrative. CMDR Sheehy had previous engagements and could not spend more than 45min. So, after wrangling with storing ships, contacting ATC, and general back-and-forth shenanigans for about 10min, Desperado and CMDR Sheehy were off to join Felix on a Caterpillar Salvage Contract.

For those that don’t know, there are sometimes 3-4 lucrative, less than legal, items in the cargo hold

We decided to give CMDR Sheehy an Origin 135c that could load the boxes if there were any there and sell them for us considering his time crunch.

Luck was not on our side. Unfortunately, no lucrative cargo. So Sheehy began the daunting task of tractor-beaming boxes out of Desperado and Felix’s Vultures as well as stacking them for smooth salvaging. (Every 2 crates worth salvaged, there is a button that you need to press to eject the next crate if blocked)

Doing some TF high-quality guestimation math, we weren’t sure if there was going to be enough space between the 2 Vultures to hold all the crates. (Depending you can get between 42-52 crates on one Caterpillar, and the Vulture maxes at about 22-23)

So CMDR Sheehy began loading the 135c with crates (6 crate slots). The lip on the cargo hold has a smaller clearance distance comparatively than a T-9 traveling through the mail slot. You also have to load it with a +30-degree incline. It fits……sort of…..Stanton physics-wise. Navigating that cargo hold with a crate is like flying a T-9 through the mail slot without auto-pilot and Flight Assist Off.

Well, Sheehy loaded a few crates and shifted them around to fit better. Little did he know that there was going to be an Overtly Hyper Stanton Happening with Instability and Terror…..event. The crates suddenly went haywire in the hold bouncing here and there. Sheehy did all he could to control them, but the crates caused too much damage to the 135c triggering an explosion. As luck would have it when experiencing an OHSHIT, even at point-blank range, the blast from the 135c didn’t even leave a scratch on CMDR Sheehy.

We of TF would like to thank CMDR Sheehy for his logistical efforts in moving crates from location to location. Much like a forklift operator in/at a warehouse.