Cmdr “Turtle” Archley’s story is so good, we decided to let him tell it himself:
My call sign? Everybody asks about my call sign. The story is a bit embarrassing, to be honest. It all started, when I was exploring some Guardian ruins. Synuefe region, I think. So there I was, exploring the ruins, when my scanner picked up a ship. I naturally drove to check it out. An Anaconda, it was. And much to my surprise, a Fatherhood one. I hailed, but there was no response. Asleep at the helm, I thought, and decided to arrange a bit of a surprise. I’d hop on top of the Anaconda with my SRV. Naturally, it didn’t go as planned. I underestimated the size of the ship and the effect of gravity, and went smack on the side of the ship. I landed, upside down like an up-ended turtle or beetle, beside the ship. Being too close to the ship, I couldn’t use the SRV thrusters. And of course, then Commander Olthuis comes to his senses. If it wasn’t an airless planet, I’d probably have heard his laughter even through the hull.